Bonding without words...

For most of my adult life, I have found it difficult to engage in meaningful conversations with other people. Only when I feel comfortable enough with the other person, my mind dares to roam, to set my thoughts free and embellish them with words. But that’s only with a handful of people…  

So, at social events I often found it difficult to bond with other people and enjoy myself fully. Until I discovered the power of dancing.  At first a terrible dancer (maybe now, still), I have learnt to set my body free and just enjoy myself as my body moves in the rhythm of music. Becoming confident with dancing has allowed me to become comfortable with interacting with people. I starting feeling jovial and light-hearted (goofy, even) when dancing and this has allowed me to bond more easily with people.

Dancing naturally puts people in a good mood, due to the fact that the inherently physical nature of the act embellishes the body with the happiness inducing hormones – endorphins. Add to this the mesmerising influence of music over mind and body and you will feel divine.  

Particularly at social events where dining is involved, dancing deters one from three socially isolating perils:

1) Overconsumption

It’s so easy to end up eating and drinking all night when you’re sat at a table with loads of goodies in front of you. Even if you feel full, this indulgence seems like the only thing available to do. Dancing gives your mind and body a different sort of pleasure that comes from the inherently physical nature of the activity. It distracts your mind from the pleasures of eating and replaces it with the endorphin-inducing stimulation of physical movement. Not to mention that you get to use up all the extra energy you gained from a three-course meal, so you don’t store any as fat.

2) Becoming socially isolated

When we’re sat at a table it’s difficult to interact with other people than the ones on your left and right and, if the table is rectangular, the one(s) in front of you. On the contrary, when you dance you can interact with many other people that you wouldn’t otherwise meet if stuck on your allocated seat at our designated table and make new acquaintances as you make yourself visible on the dance floor.

3) becoming bored and signalling boredom to the other attendees

Once the excitement of the meal and the initial conversations with the people you meet are over, our mind and body tend to sink into a state of laziness – the exact opposites of the traits you are expected to portray at a social gathering. If you get up to dance, you will start to feel energised once again, as dancing keeps the mind and body active and engaged. Rather than allowing your dormant self to reign over, lead yourself to fully embrace and experience the event. This will lift your spirits up and will stimulate your senses once again.  

The mind follows the body, act the way you want to feel, so if you want to feel full of life, socially active and confident, go on and start dancing.

Music brings people together and dancing is a living proof of this. When I am on the dancefloor, I often stop to look at the other people who dance around me.  They all seem to be enjoying themselves in the company of others in the most profound and sincere way, more so than when performing any other social activity like talking with each other, playing, taking a walk or sharing a meal together.  This is mainly due to the increased physical contact between people that is mainly allowed during the beautiful act of dancing.

Since I’ve come to these realisations, I seek every possible opportunity to dance at all the social events I take part where there is music playing and I strongly encourage you to do the same. Don’t be discouraged by a music that you may not normally listen to. If you go by the rule “I only dance when I like the music playing”, you may end up stranded on a chair the entire event.  If you get up and start moving on the rhythm of music, this will still captivate you as your mind will get used to it and will find a way to make your body move to enjoyment. Also, don’t fall into the trap of allowing the embarrassment of moving your body in front of other people deter you from dancing. People who sit down all night and judge people by their dancing moves are not entitled to do so, as they haven’t shown any better, whereas the people who are already on the dance floor will be too caught up in their won moves or will feel grateful than you’ve joined them.

I would also advise you to include dancing in your evening routine as you come back from work. It’s the best way to chillax and infuse some excitement into your day after a tedious time at work. Especially if you live with a partner, it’s a great way to bond with him or her on a daily basis, show affection and the fact that you are still comfortable with on another. This will deter daily routine and boredom settling over your relationship. Instead of slowing falling into the trap of taking each other for granted, you will make each other feel special by means of the newly acquired status of being dancing partner of your … partner :-).