For a long time, communicating extensively seemed inefficient to me. I thought that a lot of time was being spent on “chit chat”, on the talking rather than the doing. What I didn’t appreciate was that the talking process channels the thought process, and so the said becomes the done. This is due to the fact that talking about things gives you energy. It puts you in the frame of mind to actually experience the things you are talking about.
There are so many things I’ve left unsaid, either because I thought they were implied or because my mind was too laid-back to vocalise them. But as soon as I appreciated the importance of elaborate and consistent communication, I craved opportunities to be able to voice the things I had left unsaid.
I could excuse myself and put the things I’ve left unsaid down to a ‘sharp’ sense of emotional intelligence – i.e. after taking into account all aspects of the situation I was in, my brain considered it was more beneficial to withhold the thoughts which went unspoken. Or, that I am an economical being of minimal words. Nonetheless, I noticed that as soon as I decided against the intention to speak out something that was on my mind, I instantly became inward looking to the point of isolating myself in my world of unspoken thoughts.
The words we leave unsaid in a conversation are those that bring us the most regret when we reminisce over them. They have the “if only” effect. So, don’t fall into the trap of living with the unsaid. Overcome the sluggish or cautious tendency to let words go unspoken. Often the unsaid are the most powerful words that could change the course of a situation in remarkable ways.