Lessons from my partner

Reflecting why you value your partner is a great thing to do. After all, you spend so much of your free time with this person who you (ideally) appreciate and cherish the most. Therefore, it’s important to take the time to reflect why you admire your partner and what lessons you can learn from him/her. Oftentimes, living with somebody is contagious, so you might as well take the opportunity to “catch” their good traits.

Thinking about the personality traits of my partner has made me identify at least 10 “lessons” that I should learn from him on how to become a better version of myself:

1. Stay calm

I really admire the innate sense of calm that my boyfriend has. Regardless of how stressful a situation is, he never reacts to pressure, but always keeps his cool. He emanates a sense of peacefulness at all times which ultimately calms me down, too.

Staying calm at all times really is the best way to handle difficult situations. If you have an agitated nature, make a conscious effort to undermine it, for example by taking deep breaths (they help a lot more than you’d think) or thinking that any decision that you take will lead you to the best outcome.

2. Think positive

My partner never seems to think that bad things might happen. I don’t know if it is optimism or simply some kind of living-in-the-present attitude, but I know that this has made me see him in an aura of well-being, as if he is secluded from bad happenings. The positive vibes that he imparts upon me are so powerful that have made me feel that if I have a problem and tell him about it, then it’s no longer a problem, but simply a state in which things are, which will ultimately sort itself out.

So, if you want to make those around you happy, make a conscious effort to be optimistic. Charging your mind with positive thoughts will make your dear ones perceive you as a pillar of equilibrium and support.

3. Obey

I have a tendency to rebel against rules while pursuing my inner whims, so I really admire how conscious and obedient my partner is. He follows all rules, even the arbitrary ones that I make up, which to me is a great sign of respect and unconditional love.

Rules have been made to condition our human nature, so follow them if you are looking to discipline yourself. By following rules in one area of your life, you educate yourself and form the habit of being good to yourself in all the other aspects of your life which are unregulated. In a self-reinforcing nature, this will apply even to the most trivial things such as respecting sleep and meal times.

4. Be polite and respectful

My partner definitely has such good manners ingrained in his nature. Whereas I have to be mindful about showing my good manners, these seem to come naturally to him at most times. For example, he says “thank you” often during the day, including before each meal we have together even if he is the one that cooks it. Also, I never heard him say a bad word, a few times I even jokily challenged him to swear (to entertain myself), but he stayed true to his principles.

Remember that it doesn’t take much effort to be polite and respectful, and you definitely gain a lot more from it in return, such as the appreciation of those around you.

5. Be kind

Following on from his sense of calm and his polite nature, my boyfriend is one of the kindest people I know. He always remembers to kiss me good night, even when tiredness burdens him, and wishes me “good morning” even during the most rushed starts to our days. When I run around trying to get things done, hearing his “good morning” salutation calms me down – it instantly makes me pause and think “yes, it will be a good morning, which will lead to a great day”.

So, always make a conscious effort to be kind, loyal and sincere. If necessary, condition your nature to acquire these traits, as someone out there will surely notice them and seek to respond by acting in the same way.

6. Be loyal and sincere

My partner is such a loyal and sincere person, that I doubt he has ever said a lie. He’s definitely earned my lifelong trust with his genuine character.

Our flawed human nature might tempt us at times into following our whims at the expense of forgetting to act with honesty and loyalty towards those we mostly care about. But remember that the easiest way to earn people’s trust and appreciation is by showing them that they can count on your “transparent” self.

7. Find solutions to everyday problems

My partner’s analytical nature enables him to see things through or work things out often for the best. His clever nature is wide-ranging, varying from applying his logic to counsel (or comfort) me when I can’t make a decision, to working out how to assemble, install or repair things, to teaching himself to play various musical instruments or write computer programs, all the way to trivial things like cooking to perfection meals he’s never tried before or finding free parking spaces in the busy city of London.

Acknowledging his ingenious traits makes me turn to him whenever I find myself in a difficult situation. I somehow think that he will always be able to envisage the best outcome. And he often does, which makes me appreciate and trust him even more.

So, stay alert, nurture your development as best as you can and cultivate a helpful attitude. Show your cleverness by managing to find ways to deal with challenging situations. Portraying yourself gifted with an analytical mind of seeing things through will earn you the respect and appreciation of your peers.

8. Be patient

My partner and I are complete opposites when it comes to patience. I am always restless, in a hurry, keen to get things done and make myself busy constantly to feel that I am making the most of my time. However, my partner really impresses me with his ability to wait and take things easy, letting them follow their due course.

Through this way of being, my partner has really taught me a lesson: that being patient is the opposite of wasting time, is giving yourself the time to cherish the present, understand the state of things, carefully think about and plan your next action – the time to reflect and grow.

9. Be meticulous

In contrast to my frugal nature, my partner always takes his time to do things properly. His meticulous character, combined with his respect for rules, manual dexterity and inner ability to grasp new things quickly, enables him to be a good cook, sportsman, piano player, physicist, computer programmer and be good at everything else that he undertakes.

If you’re like me, always restless and in a hurry, learn to trade quantity over quality, time over action. Give yourself the best chance to become good at one thing only before you move onto the next.

10. Master your craft

My partner is the most talented “non-artistic” person I know. It may sound like a paradox, but, what I mean by this is that he hardly ever dedicates his free time to artistic endeavors. However, in those few occasions when he sits down to play the piano for example, his ability to pick up songs and just play them off by ear amazes me. Similarly, his meticulous way of being enables him to produce beautiful works of art, be they drawings or sculptures. Even though he says he wouldn’t be able to create them without a model in front of him, it’s still remarkable how he can draw or carve the things he sees, just by looking at them.

If you want to gain the admiration of yourself and others, find a thing that you enjoy doing and practice it until you truly master your craft.

These 10 principles have long been commonly known and valued. However, they have only started to shape my character when I recognised them in my partner. So, take time to observe how your partner or the dear one(s) in your life acts in general and seek to mirror the behavioural traits that you value in him or her. This is the easiest way to change your old ways, acquire new habits and become the best version of yourself, crafting a gloriously good life for yourself.

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